Fallen Embers
by Nyghtraven
Summary: A oneshot glimpse of how things might have turned out if Carth joined Revan after the Star Forge battle. From Carth's PoV.


_Once, as my heart remember,  
>all the stars were fallen embers.<br>Once, when night seemed forever  
>I was with you.<br>_~from "Fallen Embers" by Enya

* * *

><p>I watch the space around Coruscant fill with ships as the last tattered remnants of the Republic fleet gather here in an attempt to defend the planet. Scattered among the standard Republic ships are a ragtag bunch of smuggler and independent ships. Though they are doubtlessly appreciated, they do little to truly bolster the numbers enough to make a difference. This is the desperate last stand of a dying Republic.<p>

Somewhere deep in the back of my mind, I almost feel sorry for them. But that doesn't last long; it is far too late to think such things now. The Sith fleet continue to surround Coruscant as more of the fleet dropss out of hyperspace and move into position. Hundreds of Sith ships spread out as though they seek to outnumber the stars themselves, and they are all under my command. At least, mostly under my command, I remind myself. I am _her_ Admiral after all, so ultimately they are _her_ ships.

Standing on the bridge of her flagship, I scan the tactical displays to make sure the fleet follows orders and that everything is going smoothly. It's really just a force of habit; I don't even _need_ to be here anymore. Things in Revan's fleet always run smoothly because no one is willing to risk dying just to defy her. People who make mistakes don't live long enough to repeat them and everyone knows that.

I have gone from being a strong defender of the Republic, to being Lord Revan's fleet Admiral. There are moments when I wonder how it could have happened so easily. Of course, I know the answer but I guess there's still enough of my old self left to make me think about it sometimes. I have to admit, Revan was brilliant. She caught me completely off guard, and before I realized it was a trap I was neatly caught in her web.

I couldn't resist her. I never was good at telling her 'no' and she used that to her advantage. She got me to do what I swore I would never do. I turned my back on the Republic, on everything and everyone I'd ever known, for her. For a while I tried to convince myself that it was for love, and at first, maybe, just maybe it might actually have been so. But not now. There is no love in her eyes when she looks at me. No love in her voice as she gives me the orders to crush the Republic for standing against her.

If there ever was love in her heart, I'm sure it is long dead by now. I often wonder why she keeps me alive, but I suppose I haven't outlived my usefulness yet. So now I serve her without question, and the Republic I once fought for is on the brink of destruction.

The door on to the bridge opens. I know without even turning to look that she has come. The bridge crew snaps to attention instantly and the undercurrent of fear is unmistakable. Slowly I turn to watch as she approaches. Her cloak flutters out behind her like the wings of a dark bird. Despite being the Dark Lord of the Sith there are still traces of the beauty she once had but, like the rest of her, that beauty has become twisted and dark. Now she resembles a deadly predator that you wisely admire from a distance knowing that it'll kill you if you get too close.

She stands beside me, looking out at the gathered ships. I can see our reflections against the viewport. Her pale, cold yellow eyes and smug expression are so different from the face I still remember. I sigh and look away.

She turns and motions the bridge crew to leave. Soon we are alone on the bridge, and I glance toward her. She tilts her head with one eyebrow raised.

"Still want to put a blaster to my head, Flyboy?"

"Sometimes." There's no point in trying to lie to her anymore.

She nods, "I've given you plenty of reasons."

I nod but say nothing.

She turns her attention back to the ships and stars. "You've also had plenty of opportunities."

"I know."

"Why?"

I turn to meet her gaze, "You really have to ask?"

She surprises me with a smile- first one I've seen from her in months. "Even after all of this?"

I nod. "My heart still remembers."

_I'll always love you, Beautiful._

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Just a short oneshot that came from a rabid plot gizka that refused to leave me alone one night. The inspiration comes from a mod for KOTOR that lets a DSFem Revan convince Carth to join her on the Star Forge. This is a glimpse of how things might have turned out after that. :) Enjoy.


End file.
